Beautiful Chaos

Finding adventure in the everyday

New ending for Allegiant


Spoiler alert! If you haven’t finished the divergent series by Veronica Roth or intend to watch the movies without knowing anything about how the story ends, this post is NOT for you. I will be spoiling your happiness. Well, sort of. In my mind, I’m making everything better. You’ve been warned (and equally enticed).

I LOVE this series. Well, 2 books and 49 1/2 chapters of it. But the way it all ended made me mad and angry. ALL of that and she DIES! I can’t handle that. I need happy endings. I need love and hope to win. The idealist in me can’t leave it the way it is. So, here is my version of the end. 
PS. I’m going to steal chunks from the book that don’t need redone. I know little about plagiarism laws (maybe I need to look into that further) but I’m hoping this covers my hiney. If it’s within asterisks it’s hers. If it’s all alone, it’s mine. 
Ok, so Tris has just beaten the death serum and gets into the Weapons Lab where David waits with a gun (Chapter 50). He talks to her about her mom and she gets closer to the button.
*I lunge toward the device. The gun goes off and pain races through my body. I don’t even know where the bullet hit me.
I can still hear Caleb repeating the code for Matthew. With a quaking hand I type in the numbers on the keypad.
The gun goes off again.
More pain, and black edges on my vision, but I hear Caleb’s voice speaking again. The green button.
So much pain.
But how, when my body feels so numb?
I start to fall, and slam my hand into the keypad on my way down.
The light turns on behind the green button.
I hear a beep, and a churning sound.
I slide to the floor. I feel something warm on my neck, and under my cheek. Red. Blood is a strange color. Dark.
From the corner of my eye, I see David slumped over in his chair.*
Then darkness. 
Chapter 51 is Tobias in the city. 
All stays the same until he gets back to the Bureau. 
*We walk through the abandoned security checkpoint without stopping. On the other side, I see Cara. The side of her face is badly bruised, and there’s a bandage on her head, but that’s not what concerns me. What concerns me is the troubled look on her face.
“What is it?” I say.
Cara shakes her head.
“Where’s Tris?” I say.
“Tris went into the Weapons Lab instead of Caleb,” Cara says. “She survived the death serum, and set off the memory serum, but she . . . she was shot.”* 
My mind goes numb. Shot? The way she says it makes me afraid. More afraid of anything I’ve ever seen in a fear landscape. “Is she ok? Where is she?”
Cara’s eyes meet mine, there is hope in them but it isn’t much. “She’s in the hospital wing. She was shot twice. They took her in a few hours ago. Caleb and Matthew are with her.”
“Can they fix her?” Christina yells. She sounds desperate, angry. 
“I don’t know.” Cara looks down. “With the wounds she had, I’m surprised she didn’t die on the spot.”
I want to punch her for saying that but I’m desperate now. Desperate to get to Tris. If what Cara said is true, she could be gone any minute and I have to see her. I need to be near her. 
I run in a frantic daze to the hospital wing with Christina close behind me. I see Caleb standing in the hall. “Where is Tris?”
Caleb looks at me carefully with fear in his eyes. I’m sure he’s thinking I’m going to kill him for letting Tris take his place. Maybe I am. Just not now. She is my priority. “She’s in surgery. She was shot twice and they took her in right away.”
“Where was she shot?” I say.
“In the head and chest. That’s all I know.”
It seems like days pass. Maybe they do. Maybe it’s just hours. I don’t know. I have been pacing this hall so long my legs are numb. I don’t care. I just need to hear something. A doctor comes out with Matthew close behind. 
The doctor looks tired but not defeated. “The bullet went into the front of her skull and clipped part of her brain then came out the back side. She’s stable for now. I think she would recover fine from that wound, but the other bullet hit her heart which is functioning, but barely. To be honest, I’m not sure how she’s still with us. With the condition her heart is in, it needs replaced, there’s too much damage. But it seems we don’t have any sort or donor list or anything. I’m sorry.”
He doesn’t know why they don’t have a list, but I do. There weren’t enough GP hearts worth saving before Tris erased the phrase “genetically pure”.
“Can I see her?” I need to see her. 
“I’ll let you know when you can go in.” He walks away. 
We are all silent. Matthew is the first to speak. “She beat the death serum. I can’t believe she did that. And it seems that the death serum is what saved her life this long.” I look at him, tired. Confused. “In its attempt to kill her, it slowed down the beating of her heart and in turn slowed down her blood loss. She should have bled out, instead, she lost a lot but not enough to kill her.”
I let that play in my head for awhile. In my concern for Tris, I didn’t process it when Cara said it before. She did it? She beat another unstoppable serum? I am filled with awe and grief simultaneously. Will I ever get to talk to her again? To tell her how brave and stupid she is? How strong and how proud I am? How much I love her and don’t want to live without her?
I collapse into a chair. I see Hana and Zeke down the hall talking quietly and watching Uriah. So much death has been a part of our lives since the very first attack simulation on the Abnegation. And it hasn’t stopped even since we left that place. It seems to follow us wherever we go. 
I think about Uriah and how his body is working but his brain is not. Well, his body is because of machines. His brain is too damaged to tell the body to do all the things a brain says to do. And then I think about Tris. Her brain would recover. She’s strong. I know that. But it’s her body that is going to fail her. 
“What if . . . never mind” Caleb shakes his head and puts his face in his hands. It seems he was thinking along the same lines I was. He sits up and starts again, with more resolve, “what if we just ask Uriah’s family? They’re going to let his body die anyways. Tris could live!”
Hope swells so deep inside me that I have to concentrate to push it down. Could we really ask that of Hana and Zeke? Ask for them to give a piece of their son so that Tris could live? 
Christina has her back to us. She has been staring out the window since Caleb started talking. She was the closest of us all to Uriah before the explosion. She sighs long and heavy. “Uriah would’ve wanted Tris to live. He wouldn’t want it any other way. It’s worth a shot to ask his family.”
She turns to look at us. I know she is right. Uriah wouldn’t want Tris to die along with him if he could save her. I also know that someone has to go ask them. She is waiting for me to volunteer. I want to tell her that I’ll do it. I knew his family. I was friends with Zeke. But after what I had to tell them today anything that comes from me might sound like adding insult to injury. And I want them to say yes. I need them to say yes.
Christina sighs again. “I’ll do it.”

She walks down the hall to Hana and Zeke. I watch them talking. The longer they talk the more I can’t sit still any longer. The result of that conversation decides the rest of my life. A never ending sea of grief or a new beginning together. I walk to lobby and stare at the statue with the drops of water slowly carving away the stone. Tris never liked slow and steady but instead preferred all at once. And that’s what she did here with this place. She opened the floodgates. 
“Hey Four!” Christina is practically skipping. “They said yes! They said Uriah would’ve been furious if they even thought about it for a second. The doctors checked, they are a match. They’re taking them in to surgery right now, but the doctor said you could go see her first.” She grabs my hand to lead me to her. My hope swells again but we aren’t out of the woods yet so I put it back in its place. 
In Tris’ room she looks so small and fragile. So different than the Tris I know. The one that jumped first on initiation day. The one that stood in her friends place while I threw knives. I take her hand and stroke her fingers. She has to wake up. A bandage covers most of her head and her face is all puffy but she still looks beautiful. 
Christina, Caleb and Matthew come in. They talk for a few minutes and each squeeze her hand and say and encouraging words, whether for her or me I’m not sure.

Then they come and get her. I kiss her lips and whisper, “I love you. I’ll see you when you’re done.” It feels strange to talk to her when she isn’t awake but maybe that’s how she felt when she was calling me out of the attack simulation I was under. She didn’t give up on me and I will do the same for her. “Be brave.” I call to her. 

Caleb and Christina are there watching her get wheeled away. As we sit and wait, I get the whole story. How the attack had to go early. How Tris made Caleb stay, how she told Caleb the words I needed to hear to know she didn’t want to leave me. I’m grateful to know that Caleb really didn’t get a choice. Of course she took his place. Of course. 

We wait for hours and hours. People keep offering me food, but I can’t eat. I doze a few times but I feel like I need to stay awake for her. Finally the surgeon comes out and I can’t read his face. His walk to us is the longest walk ever. “It was successful,” he says. “Uriah’s heart is beating inside of Tris.”

2 and a half years later
I look out of my apartment window at a mother bird feeding her babies in their nest. I should get up now. I have to get to my new job and my mom is coming to visit for the first time, but I don’t want to pry her arms off me. She looks so peaceful. So beautiful. 
As soon as she woke up from her heart surgery I asked her to marry me. Sometimes almost losing someone makes you realize what you want more than anything else. In my case, I realized I wanted her. So we got married 6 months later, with just a few people. After we said “I do” we jumped into the pit together. 
Hard to believe that was 2 years ago. Our life is so different now than it used to be. We decided to move back to the only place that felt like home and work to restore life here. 
Tris stirs. “Good morning.” She mumbles, her hair still on her face. I kiss her fiercely because remembering that I almost lost her makes me want to hold her and never let go. But I do let go eventually, Because she has so much to offer our city and I won’t be selfish enough to keep her from it. 
As we head out into this changing world of ours we kiss and smile and whisper, “Be brave.”
Excerpts From: Roth, Veronica. “Allegiant.” HarperCollins. iBooks. 
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