Beautiful Chaos

Finding adventure in the everyday

the flame


Our brave and foolish hearts cry out for more. There is a deep longing, a bigness in our chests that calls to us; at times in enticing whispers and in others enraged shouts. A purpose that engages the kingdom and sets our hearts on fire.

It’s only an ache right now. A growing chasm within us that won’t let us settle. Won’t let us be satisfied until. Until God himself reveals his purpose and lays out the plan and sets it into motion. Until we jump into this deeply mysterious and profoundly beautiful ocean of calling and start walking on the crashing waves hand in hand with the savior.

And until the timing is right, we wait. Because all we can do is trust his ridiculously lavish love that joins us with His impossible purposes and unimaginable plans. We rest in the humanly unattainable commission he gave, the call to more. We tenderly embrace these beating, bleeding hearts he put in us that won’t, that can’t be persuaded to let mediocre be enough.

Inwardly we groan like a woman in labor. We are growing pregnant with purpose and the time is drawing near for the it to be revealed in us and through us. Right now we are growing and stretching. He is developing something beyond what we can create on our own. And then the intense groaning and slow process of stretching will bring God’s thoughtful creation to fruition in our lives and forever change the world because of it.

So now we hold the ember that he has given us. We hold it close enough to keep us warm but don’t dare close our hands around it lest it burn us. But when the time is right, he will place it ablaze in us complete with ideas and plans and details. He will ignite the flames but they will not burn us up because it will be his hands holding the fire and ours walking into the calling.

posted under Life with God
4 Comments to

“the flame”

  1. Avatar February 13th, 2014 at 6:21 am Josh Kellenberger Says:

    Hey! Beautiful writing there! I like the word pictures. And the content – spot on. The hard work we as humans do is actually either, one, in trying to pursue something of significance ourselves (and usually because we’re trying to prove our own significance rather than actually do something loving), or two, in trying to bury these embers inside EACH and EVERY one of us. Not one of us is without it, I believe, and it exposes itself in those teen years when we confide to a trusted adult or friend what we believe is something very unique to us alone: “You know, I’m not sure what I’m going to do with my life, but I feel like God has something really big for me.” And then we’re either taught to cultivate it or shove it aside as child’s dreams, idealistic naïveté. And we exert much effort in picking the most boring, safe occupations that make us a lot of money, something that can distract us and own us enough to either not be aware anymore or to not feel able anymore to pursue the dream. We call it wisdom. Providing for my family. Being a good steward. But you’re right – the only way through to both not working for my significance nor to burying the dream in respectability is to let it rest in God’s hands, waiting, and WHILE WAITING to trust and live in and live out of that lavish love He has for us. But alas, I must go to work – gotta provide for my family :-)… oh, and enjoy His love one more day on earth!

  2. Avatar February 13th, 2014 at 1:29 pm Holly Hemsoth Says:

    Thanks Josh! And good thoughts on the teen years thing. Now i need to think about if i had something like that when i was younger.

  3. Avatar February 27th, 2014 at 5:30 pm Travis Hemsoth Says:

    How did that lady hold fire in her hands without getting burnt???

  4. Avatar February 27th, 2014 at 7:26 pm Holly Hemsoth Says:

    Cause she’s awesome!

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